An Introvert’s Guide to Surviving University

Starting university was as nerve-wracking an experience for me as cliff jumping (which is tremendous fun, give it a go!) probably is for most people. Despite being a drama school graduate and a budding presenter/journalist; the idea of starting a fresh chapter in my life, and having to interact with new people in an environment famous for its parties and social-life aspects… well, it was overwhelming to say the least.

I’ve always been rather introverted. I don’t know whether that stems from being an only child or whether it’s just a genetic component of myself as a person. What I do know however, is that it can be extremely difficult when your battery runs dry from trying to plough through that impromptu after-lecture pub session, and you’ve somehow got to get up and do it all over again the next day.

So here are ten tips for surviving the overwhelming but amazing experience that is university:

1) Don’t be afraid to say no sometimes

Social-burnout is a very real thing for us introverts. It can get in the way of completing work or doing activities we’d actually find enjoyable, all because of the overwhelming pressure to go out over and over (especially on fresher’s week!)

It’s okay to say no sometimes. You don’t have to do everything, and you won’t lose friends just because you didn’t go out that one time or left a little early another time. Do what you want to do and listen to your body. That anxious exhaustion isn’t something you just have to put up with in order to have a fulfilling time at university.

2) Stay true to yourself

You are who you are, and that’s a fantastic thing. Embrace your uniqueness and don’t fall into the trap of pretending you’re somebody you’re not, because in the end that doesn’t help you find the people you’ll truly connect with.

Organise a ‘Netflix and drinks’ get together, or suggest another activity that you might enjoy more than a pub crawl or clubbing. You’ll be surprised how many people will appreciate it, and you’ll get the opportunity to share something you enjoy with the people around you.

3) Make this your university experience

Don’t forget that you’ll most likely only get to experience doing an undergraduate degree once, and that you’re shelling out a fortune for the privilege. So, make the most of it in whatever way makes you happiest.

Join a club or society that allows you to explore a personal interest further for example, or start your own society if there isn’t one that you’re interested in.

Keep a mini-fridge in your room so you don’t have to go into communal areas for snacks, or plan to have alone-time on certain evenings or weekends and do something nice for yourself. Never feel pressured to be somebody else, just be yourself and enjoy your time as a student because it passes by so quickly.

4) Don’t avoid your lecturers and professors

You may not want to speak up during class, or may have a hard time being heard over others during this time, but don’t let it discourage you from interacting with your lecturers. Organise one-to-one sessions and send emails if that’s what suits you best. 

Remember, they’re employed to teach and guide you, so make the most of it and of yourself. The support and advice available can help you achieve far more than keeping those worries, concerns, or general questions to yourself.

5) Don’t worry about small talk

Small talk is the stuff of nightmares for us because it forms a barrier between people and can end up feeling so uncomfortable and impersonal. Try asking meaningful questions that lead to deeper conversation. It can definitely be daunting, and may even take a few tries, but the relationships you’ll form with people will be worth it.

I personally dread small talk because I know I’ll end up answering the same predictable questions with the same predictable answers (What do your tattoos mean? What do you study? You really grew up in London? Where do you live?) and then the conversation will move on to somebody else, and it’ll be their turn to also answer the questions they’ve been asked many times before. It feels monotonous and repetitive to me. I’d rather get to know a person on a deeper level.

6) Quality beats quantity

The quality of your friendships definitely outweighs the number of friends you have. It’s impossible to maintain a life-long relationship with everybody, so find your people and realise that even if you only have one or two close friends through your educational journey, that you’re still doing just great and will have just as fond memories as those in a huge friendship group.

Don’t look at your peers’ social media posts at every party or social event and let the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) monster take over. You’re living your life and they’re living theirs. They may be extroverted but that doesn’t make their chosen experiences any more meaningful or enjoyable than your own.

7) A little preparation goes a long way

Being in a lecture or working environment for three hours or more can be draining, so I like to prepare myself. I get into Ealing (the town my university is in) usually 40 minutes early. I grab breakfast and a copy of the paper, and sit on my own in whichever café I chose that day, taking the time to de-stress and be ready for the usually chaotic day ahead.

My close friends and I get in early enough that I always have a chance to pick the classroom seat I’m most comfortable in. It’s little things like this that can make a possibly overwhelming situation that much easier. Find what works for you and make time for it.

8) Don’t be afraid to venture out of your comfort zone now and then

It’s important to keep pushing yourself so that you don’t feel you’re missing out or alienating people. Don’t feel that you have to put yourself into uncomfortable situations or go to every party, but do try to go sometimes even if you set yourself the goal of staying for an hour and a half and then you can go home and reward yourself with that new episode of your favourite series.

Sometimes you’ll be surprised to realise how much fun you’re having and be glad you went to that social event or that night out. Just remember to always keep tabs on how you’re feeling and if it’s time to call it a night, don’t beat yourself up. You had a good time, and that’s the main thing!

9) Remember why you’re at university

Don’t forget that you’re at university to provide yourself with the means to create a prosperous future. Your quality of work and how much effort you put into it will always be more important than socialising. You have an edge by being introverted, extroverts won’t find it as easy to sit and study on their own. Make the most of your alone-time and be amazing.

You chose the course you’re on because you have a passion for the subject matter. Remember that when you’re next worrying about an upcoming social event. While the social aspect of university life is of course important, your enthusiasm and drive should be what propels you forward through your three years and onto success.

10) Love yourself for who you are

No matter what, you are perfect just the way you are. I’m never going to be extroverted and that’s okay with me. I’m happy to embrace my uniqueness and be the best me I can be. Never forget to love yourself and do right by yourself. University will be a roller-coaster of emotions, experiences, and challenges; they’ll each make you who you’re going to become. Enjoy and embrace it. As an introverted student myself, I know you’ve got this.

- Lee Urquhart